Kari By The Bay

Since the start of the new year, my life at home and at work has been nothing short of a whirlwind.  It began with a host of issues to be resolved, massive company meetings in my company’s local office, a new direct report to train and a company party that I’d planned that had to be executed.  Once that was done, I felt a sigh of relief and visited my company’s corporate office to participate in a recruiting event and attack 2020 projects with improved relationships and clarity.  While I was there, things were going great… or so I thought.

In the two weeks after that visit, my work life changed dramatically.  My leader abruptly exited the company, I was given a good-sized chunk of her work, and thrown head-first into a top-secret project. During this time several other executives also left the business, leaving a wake of stress and doubt in those around me. This season has left me bogged down in work, and has taken me away from my family life, rejuvenation time and caring for my home. My husband has stepped in like a champ, and I thank God daily that I have him in my life to keep the wheels moving on our familial bus as my attention is taken to other places. What’s also been hard is that I’ve missed many of my daughter’s Girl Scout meetings, put off my own doctor’s appointments, and slept less than needed in an effort to prove that I can do it to my new leaders, who truly don’t know much about me or my work. While I’m strong enough to pull through this season, I want to use it to make a difference and improve my visibility and work. Though I want to be optimistic about my work shaping the future of our team and department, the flip side is self-doubt, fear and worry.

What if it’s not seen or valued like I hope? What if all of this is for nothing, and my hard work and time away from my family is met with no improvements in my role or relationships in the business?  Maintaining focus with a sense of optimism even when you’re tired, sad, exhausted, and scared is exactly the saga of what makes the seasons of work, life and relationships so unsettling.

During these seasons, things we’ve grown to love or value seem to be coming apart at the seams, and there’s no duct tape (or love or hard work) strong enough to stop it. Through it all, my focus being straight ahead and on the possibilities of what’s to come has allowed this season to become a vehicle for me, not only to propel me toward the future state but also charge my work-life batteries. I view it as a chance to be involved and shape my work, hopefully in a way that impresses a few people along the way. Griping, moping or being complacent won’t get me to Phase II of this situation. I acknowledge the feelings of loss, sadness and uncertainty, but don’t allow myself to dwell on them. As is often said in corporate workplaces, you’re either part of the problem or the solution.  I always want to be on the side of the solution, and my focus on the end-game is what’s getting me there.

Since this season began, I’ve sought inspiration from two of my favorite writers and social media work-life gurus, Brene Brown and Laurie Ruettiman, as well as my grandfather, an intelligent, strong, and highly-successful man who managed to have a wonderful family and life outside of his demanding career. I think about how I’d want him to see me now, and be proud that he raised a granddaughter who doesn’t buckle when things become difficult. Instead, I want them to see that woman who rolls up her sleeves and gets heads-down into the work alongside her team in the spirit of making the today and next day as amazing as possible, even if we’re not yet certain what’s life’s going to throw at us.  I strive to shape my future rather than be a victim of it.

Inevitably, this season will end like the others before it, and I will enter a period of recovery afterward that allows me to reflect differently on this topic than while I’m in the thick of it.  And at another point later, the cycle of change will begin again.  The seasons never stop, but they evolve each time with the death of something great and rebirth of the new normal.

Right now, I’m still in the thick of the chaos and remaining focused on the positives that lie ahead.  It’s very likely that I’ll have a new leader starting in my company’s headquarters in the next couple of months, and hopefully two new colleagues to assist in making our team its best iteration yet.  I commit to optimism and looking ahead rather than back at what was, and moving forward has never felt so overwhelming but so also so good.

Fall is my favorite season.  It handily delivers a seasonal beat-down to Winter and these ungodly hot Summers in Florida.  It even beats Spring.

Yes, I said it.  Spring < Fall.  Spring is great in Florida, but in the Northern states where Spring means cool temps, damp weather and the emergence of pothole-riddled roads from beneath sheets of ice, it’s not so amazing.  Spring only seems great there because Winters are so dreadfully grey, cold and all most plant-life appears dead, making Spring, when everything wakes up from hibernation, seem like an amazing delight.  Truly, it’s not.  I can do without the awakening of allergies, hay fever that weird period where you don’t know when to use heat or AC (and go back and forth throughout the day), thanks.

Yep, Fall is my jam.  While I miss living in a state where I can see tree leaves change to beautiful colors and enjoy the cooler weather, apple orchards, sprawling pumpkin patches, hayrides in actual hay fields, fresh apple cider and the smell of burning leaves, there’s still some magic even here in Florida.  After all, we still have Fall home decor, and a new season of college and professional football.  It’s heaven for this gal.

I get myself geared up for Fall a little early, around the last week of  July, by setting the mood.  These 5 things always get me Autumn-ready and put me in the Fall mood.

1. Set the Tone with Home Fragrance — I’m over the top about scenting my home (and myself, for that matter), and Fall fragrances are some of my favorites.  Bring on apple, pear, pumpkin, marshmallow and even coffee scents.  I love candles because they create a warm glow and short-term burst of scent, but fragrance oils, plug-ins, wax melts and sprays all work.  Anything that consistently reminds me of being warm, toasty and sweater-clad is a perfect mood-setter at this time of year.
2. Indulge in School Supplies — A great way to kick off Fall is to buy new pens, notebooks, markers, and folders.  Why?  As a Stationery geek, I need no reason whatsoever to indulge in new office supplies, but the start of a school year seems like the best reason of all.  Until this year, I didn’t even have a child in school yet.  My daughter started Kindergarten a couple of weeks ago, and now I feel even more empowered to go nuts during school supply sales!  I bought colored pens (from my favorite brand and model, Pentel EnerGel Metal Tip), more printer paper and ink, several new notebooks, planner stickers, a new calendar, rolls of Scotch tape… like bouquets of newly sharpened pencils, they were perfection. New supplies also give you motivation to start new projects, clean up your workspace and give you a fresh perspective at a time when heading into the holidays can seem daunting.
3. Dress Up My Space — It’s so easy for me to go crazy over Fall decor. It seems so wholesome and full of memories, and failing to decorate makes me feel like something is missing. I enjoy visions of pumpkins, haunted houses, ghosts, costumes, and all things ghoulish, so our front yard gets the treatment and inspires our neighbors to join in–it’s great to bring our favorite season outside to share with everyone else!  Whether you decorate for football, update a few colors, or go full-tilt on Halloween or generic Fall pumpkins-and-plaid, it’s fun to see that personality come out for a little while every year.
4. Enjoy Autumnal Goodies — Baking pumpkin muffins, making s’mores over a bonfire and eating maple-glazed-anything gets me excited for the season without fail, while putting a streusel topping on those treats suddenly makes them pair better with my creamy, warm Chai latte. It’s magical. You don’t even have to bake the treats yourself to enjoy them–buy them if you’re recipe-inept.  Your secret is safe with me.
5. Fall Eventing — Taking part in traditional Fall activities is a perfect way to go all-in on the season.  Football tailgates and game watches are awesome ways to meet people, as are Oktoberfest pub crawls, Halloween parades and carving pumpkins with pals.  A good friend of mine has a party at her house on Halloween night for friends and neighbors to join in, and I think we may extend that to our house this year.  Why limit ourselves to just visiting the fun when we can host at home, right?  If anything, it’s a great excuse to bake, meet more of our neighbors and mull some spiked apple cider in our CrockPot to share with everyone.

Consider doing these things to prep early (and often) to make sure you don’t miss any of the fun this Fall.

What are your favorite ways to kickoff the arrival of Autumn?

I can’t believe it’s already May, and I haven’t posted an update on my site since the beginning of the year.  Call me a slacker, because I’ve been one.  Here are a few important things that have been going on in my life in the recent past:

 

• A couple of weeks ago, I celebrated my first anniversary at my current job.  To be honest, I almost forgot about it, except when the office manager wished me a happy anniversary!  Time flew by more quickly than it had in the past, and I realized that it was because I’d been HAPPY for the past year.  Time truly does fly when you’re having fun!  My heart is grateful to have found my wonderful employer, and stumbled upon a group of colleagues who I’m proud to work with every day.  The work is tough, but also enjoyable and challenging, which makes the hard work worthwhile.
• My kiddo just finished pre-kindergarten and will be moving on to Kindergarten in the Fall!  How the heck did she get so big?  I just want to throw my arms around her and beg her to stop growing so I can enjoy her being little for a bit longer!
• Our puppy is no longer a puppy–she recently turned 2!  She’s a sweetheart and is the playful pooch we’ve always wanted.
• The whole family visited my parents for the Memorial Day holiday weekend, and had a great time barbecuing, swimming in the pools, going to the beach and generally being lazy in a Gulf Beach town.  Aren’t those the best mini-vacations?  We live near the water, but it’s so much more relaxing when we leave the city and go to a smaller, quieter area to enjoy it.
• Guys, that Vineyard Vines for Target sale a couple of weeks ago was CRAZY!  I cleaned up for my daughter, the dog and our house, but didn’t get as much for myself from the Plus Size collection as I’d hoped.  I may share my haul in a future post!
• The Mr. and I have been working on doing a grand clean-out of our entire house.  I’ve sold a lot of clothing, shoes, cosmetics and accessories on Poshmark, but will also try to hold a garage sale in the near future.  Anything we don’t use will be donated to charity.
• From wellness standpoint, I’ve taken several key steps to getting back into my personal groove. I’ve initiated more girls nights, stayed on a stable sleep schedule, returned to a few professional networking events and organizations, and revisited my healthy eating and tracking habits via WW (formerly Weight Watchers).  So far I’ve managed to stay healthy for nearly 6 weeks, which may be my longest period of good health in years.  I’m also trying out some things with essential oils just to see if they can help make a difference in a few areas of my wellbeing.  I’m willing to go all in on being the healthiest, happiest me.
• I did the most grown-up thing I could think of 2 weeks ago–I dropped a boatload of money on new tires for my SUV and put a tire guy in his place for treating me with sexist disregard.  It was frustrating in the moment, but WOW, I was so proud of myself afterward.

That’s it for me!  There’s my big update, with more details and stuff to come in the near future.  Hope you all have a great start to your Summers!

Today is the first day of the new year, and I can’t believe it’s already 2019.  When I finished college, 2019 seemed like a zillion years into the future, and I couldn’t even fathom what my life would look like by this time.  It’s funny how the reverse isn’t true as well.  I don’t feel like college was a zillion years in the past–it feels like it was just a year or two ago.

I’ve been laying low at home today, but not to recuperate from a wild New Year’s Eve bash or anything. I’ve had a recurring sinus issue for a couple of months and I just feel like I need to rest and help my body get rid of this thing for good.  I have trouble slowing down sometimes–I push myself to go-go-go and do even more, even when my body is telling me to slow down and take it easy.

While I could make new year’s resolutions or choose a theme word for the year, I’ve decided instead to set some meaningful goals for myself and my family.

To begin with, I’m going to focus more on my own health this year, and do so from a body-mind-spirit perspective. I truly believe holistic wellness is important, and I neglected myself in 2018.  2019 will be the year when I pull myself back into focus and prioritize my overall wellbeing.

Next, I’ve decided to prioritize family experiences and spending time with loved ones in meaningful ways. I lost a couple of important family members in the last two years, and others are in poor health.  Seeing my family size dwindle is a reminder that we don’t get a lot of time to connect with people we care about, and putting it off could mean that last hug or joke never happens.  I’d love to travel up to Michigan and the Northeast for us to see family on some road trips this year, if we can make it happen.

Finally, my husband and I want to focus on long-term financial planning, and now is the time to prioritize debt repayments (think student and auto loans and mortgage), saving money in our daughter’s college fund and prioritizing investments that will pay off in future years.  We aren’t experts with money, so we’ll be doing a lot of reading, studying and asking questions of those around us this year who seem to have plans in place.

Do you have any big plans for 2019?  I’d love to hear what they are!

Cheers to a fabulous 2019!

Nearly 4 years ago, I gave birth to my daughter in what was the happiest moment of my life.  I met this wiggly baby who had made my midsection home for months, and she shifted so much of my life as I knew it.

Suddenly, the long hours spent at work were not working for me, even though I’d always been a tough cookie and made it work in the past.  The long nights out with friends has long since been forgotten, but soon lunches, dinners and happy hours gradually diminished into a quarterly catch-up brunch or birthday dinner.  One-on-One time with my husband was reduced, and any time we had together, just he and I, became precious.  Following that, my elderly dog became sick.  She needed me at home, too.

Since that time, I have changed jobs in search of the elusive “work-life balance” I espouse and promote daily to new hires and managers, and found myself frustrated by incompetent people and corporate processes that keep me away from my family and friends even longer than they should.  After all, if I have to be away from home, can’t my work at least be productive and fulfilling?  I’ve given up social clubs and volunteering my time to those less fortunate, which I’ve always loved to do.  Along the way, there were joys–we got a puppy almost a year after our old dog passed away, and she has been a joyous, rambunctious addition to our lives.

I finally asked myself, Who the hell am I, and what’s next?

The answer is in my heart, and has truly been here all along.  Four years ago, I entered into a season of life that demanded selflessness and sacrifice to raising my daughter and keeping our home a healthy, happy and productive one.  I didn’t entirely give up my own interests and social life, but they certainly went into hibernation for the season!  I realized quickly that I had to change things if I was unfulfilled or feeling that the most important people in my life needed me more than things that may come and go.  In life, my family will always be here even when jobs or other things may come and go.  Sadly, this also meant that I was not as good of a friend as I wanted to be to a few people, and I know I let some people down.  While I’m incredibly sad that it happened, I know that taking care of myself and my family was the right decision even though it may have stung myself and a few friends.

The seasons are changing on me again, as my kiddo is now entering preschool, our puppy is quickly growing into her life as our family dog, and I started a new job that I expect to give me personal fulfillment throughout the next season of my life.  My husband and I have traveled together, alone, in the past year, and plan to do so again soon with a trip to Los Angeles.

People have noticed the change in me, and have said I seem more cheerful, relaxed and energetic than in ages.  They’re right–I do!  While I appreciate that the change is noticeable and receives positive feedback from others, it’s also pushing me to move forward with what lingering conundrum: What’s next?

With this season allowing me to breath again, it’s clear that next for me is jumping right back into things I care about–enjoying my hobbies and activities in my home city, taking care of myself, and finding new ways to bond with my kiddo and hubby.

Game on, life.

As much as my inner Capricorn wants to believe that I can do everything on my own, I recognize that I do, sometimes, need help from time to time.

Yesterday was Father’s Day, and I happily spent time to celebrate the men in my life who have done, and currently do, so much for me and my little family.  My husband and my Dad are shining examples of great men.  Having them as mine makes me happy, because I’d be jealous if they belonged to someone else.

Cranky toddler aside, we had a wonderful time lunching at a local island-themed restaurant and exchanging cute (but slightly corny) Dad presents.

My personal favorite gifts were the t-shirt my daughter gave my husband that had picture of Darth Vader and Leia, along with the phrase, Father & Daughter: Best Friends in the Galaxy, and tickets to a local beer festival.  They were definitely up his alley and he seemed to enjoy it.  As much as I love a good beer festival, I’d happily let him go with one of his other guy friends if he needed a break from family time.  I’m a cool wife like that.

After taking the cranky toddler home, we all passed out into our Sunday nap zone (which was glorious, even for just an hour or two), and woke up to a wide-awake, even crankier toddler.  She made her Dad earn every ounce of relaxation he got that day!

Just to give dear, old Dad a break, I whisked the toddler off to the local grocery store and placated her with a free bakery cookie and important tasks.  She helped me organize the cart, held the bananas, picked out ice cream for Dad, and even helped punch numbers into the credit card machine when I paid.  She thought she was hot stuff, manning the touch-screen and punching the big “No” button when it asked if we wanted cash back.  She was almost a little too comfortable with it, for a 3-year-old.

After all way done for the day, we made daddy his special dinner and let him have full control of the TV, even if it pained our little girl to miss yet-another episode of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.  She ended the night by giving her Dad a photo of the two of them in a frame that read, “Dad, You’re my hero”.  He said it was the perfect way to end the night, so I knew I’d gotten the job done.

Mother’s and Father’s Days are never easy, restful days as a parent of a young child, but just knowing that your family tries to make it special anyway is totally worth any aggravation that may come your way.

Happy Father’s Day to all of the blessed Dads and Grandpas out there–May your heart of gold glimmer like the grey in your hair, on this day and every day.